Single doesn t have to be a bad thing

Added: Zacarias Oconnor - Date: 16.08.2021 11:08 - Views: 15367 - Clicks: 8156

Y ou hear about FOMO a lot these days. In fact, the word was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in What does it really mean? A recent study on the subject defined it as:. Under this framing of FoMO, nearly three quarters of young adults reported they experienced the phenomenon.

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And either way it drives you to keep running around the digital hamster wheel to feel okay with yourself. Is this just a symptom of modern life? Is it no big deal? Or is it telling us something we need to know? And is there anything we can do to break the vicious cycle? Research has answers. And you can fix this problem. But first, the bad news: FOMO is a lot worse than you think….

Caught in the FOMO cycle? FOMO often originates in unhappiness:. Our findings show those with low levels of satisfaction of the fundamental needs for competence, autonomy, and relatedness tend towards higher levels of fear of missing out as do those with lower levels of general mood and overall life satisfaction. How do you scratch the itch? Check Facebook, of course:. In fact, FOMO le people to check social media right after they wake up, before they go to bed and during meals:.

conceptually replicated findings from Study 2, those high in FoMO tended to use Facebook more often immediately after waking, before going to sleep, and during meals. To learn the four things neuroscience says will keep your brain happy. Only one problem there: it actually makes you feel worse…. After controlling for the possibility of reverse causality, our suggest that Social Network Site users have a higher probability to compare their achievements with those of others.

And research shows this is the happiness equivalent of taking someone with a nut allergy and putting them on an all-cashew diet:. According to Burke, passive consumption of Facebook also correlates to a marginal increase in depression.

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As Montesquieu once said:. If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are. Nonetheless, social comparison seems sufficiently destructive to our sense of well-being that it is worthwhile to remind ourselves to do it less.

To post something. As if to say: Look at me! But this only strengthens the cycle. As internet maven and co-founder of Flickr, Caterina Fake, once said :. And the research agrees. It brings them up and slams them back down:. This pattern of relations indicated those high in FoMO were more likely to experienced mixed feelings when using social media. But posting to alleviate your discomfort also has an important secondary effect: by presenting your carefully edited version of life awesomeness, you just made anyone who sees it feel worse.

To learn what Harvard research says will make you happier and more successful. Looking at social media for happiness is a bad idea. Sounds cliche, but the research says you need to look inside:. This constant fear of missing out means you are not participating as a real person in your own world. Only real life is real life.

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We all have bad things we could think about. Your happiness is determined by how you allocate your attention. What you attend to drives your behavior and it determines your happiness. Attention is the glue that holds your life together… The scarcity of attentional resources means that you must consider how you can make and facilitate better decisions about what to pay attention to and in what ways.

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If you are not as happy as you could be, then you must be misallocating your attention… So changing behavior and enhancing happiness is as much about withdrawing attention from the negative as it is about attending to the positive. This analysis showed that students high in FoMO were more liable to use Facebook during university lectures… Young adults who were high in fear of missing out paid greater attention to s, text messages, and their mobile phones when driving compared to those lower on FoMO.

To learn more about how to focus your attention and be happy. What can you pay attention to when life is, frankly, kinda sad or boring? Now take a couple seconds to imagine those were taken away from you. How would you feel?

Bad things happen to us randomly, right?

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So to some degree, you are lucky to have what you do. Does this exercise sound silly? Research shows it works. Mentally subtracting cherished moments from your life makes you appreciate them more, makes you grateful and makes you happier.

In fact, gratitude is arguably the king of happiness. The inevitable comparisons to the fake lives on Facebook makes you feel you have less. Contemplating what you are lucky to already possess makes you feel you have more. Turn notifications off. As the author of the FOMO study said :. Social media may not create the tendency, he said, but it likely exacerbates it by making sharing so easy.

To learn more about how you can use gratitude to make yourself happy all the time. And Facebook can help you be happy. Use it to plan face-to-face get togethers. Columbia professor John Cacioppothe leading researcher on loneliness, says doing that can make your life better :. Facebook is merely a tool, he says, and like any tool, its effectiveness will depend on its user.

Instead, try JOMO: the joy of missing out on all those illusions. When you spend all that time staring in envy at the oh-so-cool pictures of cleverly crafted bliss on Facebook, keep one thing in mind:. overreaders. Get a free weekly update via here. at letters time. Getty Images. By Eric Barker. Be the first to see the new cover of TIME and get our most compelling stories delivered straight to your inbox. Please enter a valid address.

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How to Focus on Yourself — and Only Yourself