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A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology. Read full profile. When a relationship ends, it can be immensely heartbreaking. We all cope with breakups in our own individual way with some people seemingly getting over someone quickly while others take a lot longer.
But is this really the case? Getting out there again can seem extremely daunting or not even close to being on our radar and this is okay. There are many actions you can take that will help you move in a positive direction; allowing yourself to heal while shifting your mindset to one of recovery and peace. Negative emotions are often demonised and we are made to feel as though feeling sad, angry and hurt is not good for us.
We absolutely need to go through the grieving process and that brings denial, anger, blame, depression, desperation, false hope and many more in between. It may feel like the hurt is endless but remember to go with it — accept the feelings for what they are; a means to an end.
Remember that you are doing this for yourself and no one else. Seeing what they are up to all the time is only opening the emotional wound over and over again and that wound will never have its chance to heal. After the initial sadness of deletion you will feel very empowered and this empowerment will be good for your soul. As much as you may think it, your identity is not, and was not, tied to the relationship you had. Remembering to love yourself is probably the most important thing you can do after a breakup. Journaling your feelings may seem straight out of a 90s TV show but it has great healing qualities.
Write down how you feel, read it back to yourself, throw it away or box it up. Seeing your feelings down on paper can How to stop seeing someone you love your mind gain perspective and see things from another point of view. Another great thing to do is to write down a list of all the parts of the past relationship that annoyed or irritated you.
A lot of the time we romanticise about the past and remember it better than it was. Writing down the negatives will serve as a reminder and will help when you have moments of relapse. Although sitting around eating all the chocolate and binge-watching TV shows is a great thing to do initially, there needs to come a time when being proactive is a must to get our lives going again.
Go running, walking or cycling — anything that will get those endorphins going. Exercise is an excellent catalyst to recovery — it will clear and calm your mind and reduce any stress. Being around people also really helps speed up recovery. Although embracing our negative emotions are good, holding on to anger and blame for too long can have a detrimental effect on ourselves and others. When we spend too much time in a space of blaming the other person for the way we feel, we are taking away our power and essentially giving it to them.
It acts as a hinderance to our recovery and makes the process that much longer. These thoughts really serve us no purpose other than to torture ourselves. We live on a planet with billions of people. You probably believe that no one else will make you laugh like that again, or have so much in common with you and yes, that may be true. But everyone is unique in their own way and there will be someone or many more people who will connect and bond with you in so many awesome ways. You grew as a person and that will only serve you well for the next amazing person to life.
It might not be soon but it will happen — just have faith it will all work out. Fundamentally, you will feel like you are in some kind of darkness for a while. You may feel alone but millions of people have been through the exact same process in their own unique way and have seen the light at the end of the tunnel.
Use this as a reminder and a testament to the fact that you will also get through this too. Featured photo credit: Simone Perrone via magdeleine. Eugene is Lifehack's Entrepreneurship Expert.
He is the co-founder and creative lead of HighSpark, offering presentation training for companies. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body — your heartbeat has gone off the charts. Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.
If How to stop seeing someone you love body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside. Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:. The audience will notice you are nervous. If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body.
Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements. Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time: Advertising. Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.
A sip of water will do the trick. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly. Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage.
One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure. Do I look funny? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose — contributing something of value to your audience. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.
This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart. There are two sides constantly battling inside of us — one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed? What if I forget what to say? All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy — a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is.
Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech. However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts. Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content — a definite way to stress themselves out.
Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Deing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank. One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking.
Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation. In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.
Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice — whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect! Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker. To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy.
Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member with a hopefully calming face and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others.
But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back. You How to stop seeing someone you love to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up.
You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself. As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time. Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech: Advertising.
Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:. Jenny Marchal A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology. Share Pin it Tweet Share. More by this author Jenny Marchal A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.
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