How to marry a white man

Added: Rachele Depp - Date: 06.11.2021 09:11 - Views: 47103 - Clicks: 894

I froze. It was a Saturday afternoon, and my friend and I were passing a bag of chips back and forth, talking about boys. Correction: she talked about boys, and I listened. But at the age of fourteen, I was unsure of myself and unable to fully grasp the various identities that crisscrossed my being. I muttered something about being uninterested in marriage, and the moment passed. Her question, however, haunts me to this day.

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While my fourteen-year-old self was vaguely offended but unable to pinpoint the offense, I can now define what hurt me then and continues to affect me as an Asian woman in the U. My white friend, perhaps unconsciously, made two assumptions about me: first, that I am heterosexual, and second, that I belong with a white man.

Having grown up in an all-white community, my friend had only seen Asians as minor characters in television and film before meeting me. So, in the rare occasion that she speaks, the white man does not, and need not, understand. Her wants and desires, unheard, are therefore nonexistent, and she exists only to satisfy his sexual fantasies. This convergence of racism and sexism le to the invisibility of us queer Asian women. Just as my friend assumed that I could not be anything other than a heterosexual who wants to marry a white man, those of us who do not fit the Lotus Blossom mold are rendered nonexistent.

Her identity as a woman who desires co-ethnic women is obscured by stereotypes of Asian femininity: since Lotus Blossoms are objects of white male desire, the public has a hard time imagining us as people who embody sexualities unsubordinated to white men.

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Even queer communities do not seem immune to the Lotus Blossom image. According to Richard Fung, Asian female faces are almost never represented in images produced by mainstream gay and lesbian organizations In other words, the various sexual identities that we possess are unrecognized, not only in mainstream society, but also in queer spaces, perhaps because of the notion that we belong with—and exist for—white men.

Perhaps the only way to start deconstructing these stereotypes, then, is to acknowledge the intersectional oppression that we queer Asian women face and reject feminism that focuses only on gender. Fung, Richard. Lee, JeeYeun. Lorde, Audre. Tajima, Renee E. She identifies as a queer feminist and is a member of the Columbia Queer Alliance. In her free time, she likes to read and watch cat videos on Youtube. Quick jump to content. Home Archives Vol. Published May 1, Main Article Content Sally Jee.

Author Biography.

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Jee, S. The Morningside Review ,

How to marry a white man

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1. Trends and patterns in intermarriage