Guarding your heart in dating

Added: Ariel Donovan - Date: 29.06.2021 01:01 - Views: 31363 - Clicks: 9919

InI trekked into Manhattan after work for a date in The Village. I remember how my face held a permanent smile almost the entire time. He had been thoughtful enough to plan a surprise-filled date. He held the door for me and stepped to the outside as we walked down the street. I immediately saw that he was intelligent and kind, well-traveled, and funny. From the first words spoken, he doted on me and I wanted that feeling more than I wanted to deal with the other less-glamorous realities.

I put the red flags on the backburner. I had no interest in what was going to happen down the road, I wanted the right now. I wanted to keep enjoying spending time with a man who finally thought the world of me and actually showed it. It took two months for things to unravel. His abandonment issues, lack of trust, and addictions boiled over and brought the short-lived relationship to a heightened and final end.

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I was crushed even though we'd only been dating for a short while. The writing was on the wall early on but I'd left my heart way too open and my head on a shelf. It took falling too fast a few too many times to really get the hang of guarding my heart and contrary to popular belief it's freer and much more intentional than we've been taught.

Guarding Your Heart media. Contextually, this nugget of wisdom is applicable to all aspects of life. However, it has especially been embraced in dating and relationships. We love to instruct each other to guard our hearts. The only problem is, we misshapen what that actually means. Imagine you're driving through one of your favorite alluring neighborhoods on a sunny day.

The streets are lined with masterfully trimmed oak trees and the homes tower above you. As you drive, you notice the newest home setting back off of the road. You can tell it's nearly finished but you can't see all the details you were able to see for months prior during its construction; a gate has been erected surrounding the property.

As you pass, you strain to see how those floor to ceiling windows turned out but the gate obstructs your view. You're a bit annoyed but simultaneously in awe of such a beautiful home. I used to immediately and exclusively view the gate as a defensive force to keep out the inevitably bad people and things ready to take advantage of a beautiful new property.

While that assessment isn't wrong, it is incomplete. To many, guarding our hearts is a manipulative game of cat-and-mouse, always calculating to make sure that at best we don't get hurt and at worst we hurt them first. This actually robs us of the ability to guard our hearts. Being more concerned with never getting hurt than with experiencing life and love fully and wisely, pushes us toward romantic extremism and self-sabotage.

Many of us are blind to the reality that what we do to protect ourselves, the poorly intentioned gates we erect to keep Guarding your heart in dating out, actually leave us open to more hurt than we could imagine. Those gates may keep out some hurt, but when that is our only intention, we prevent love and relationship and wonder and happiness and creativity and our futures from flowing in. For others of us - like my former self - guarding our hearts is the hardest thing in the world to do because we're so starved for affection, affirmation, and attention that we think it's love the first time the possibility presents itself.

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We don't temper our excitement with a critical eye, prayer, or wise counsel. We write off red flags as things that can be fixed later instead of warnings. Guarding your heart is the discernment and proactivity that allows you to experience life and love for what they are and not what you want them to be. Guarding our hearts healthily allows us to feel what we need to feel when we go through the tough stuff. It allows us to be able to process it with clarity in God's presence and the company of those who love us instead of isolating. Inside of wisely-intentioned heart-guarding stands a belief in your worth and your choices.

This will allow you the freedom to walk away from anything that does not serve your best self with no feeling of loss or regret. Ashley is a storybuilder and storyteller who writes and produces to inform, connect, encourage and evoke. Over the past four years, we grew accustomed Guarding your heart in dating a regular barrage of blatant, segregationist-style racism from the White House.

But as outrageous as the racist comments Trump regularly spewed were, the racially unjust governmental actions his administration took and, in the case of COVIDdidn't take, impacted millions more — especially Black and Brown people. To begin to heal and move toward real racial justice, we must address not only the harms of the past four years, but also the harms tracing back to this country's origins. Racism has played an active role in the creation of our systems of education, health care, ownership, and employment, and virtually every other facet of life since this nation's founding.

Our history has shown us that it's not enough to take racist policies off the books if we are going to achieve true justice. Those past policies have structured our society and created deeply-rooted patterns and practices that can only be disrupted and reformed with new policies of similar strength and efficacy.

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In short, a systemic problem requires a systemic solution. Guarding your heart in dating combat systemic racism, we must pursue systemic equality. A system is a collection of elements that are organized for a common purpose. Racism in America is a system that combines economic, political, and social components. That system specifically disempowers and disenfranchises Guarding your heart in dating people, while maintaining and expanding implicit and explicit advantages for white people, leading to better opportunities in jobs, education, and housing, and discrimination in the criminal legal system.

For example, the country's voting systems empower white voters at the expense of voters of color, resulting in an unequal system of governance in which those communities have little voice and representation, even in policies that directly impact them. In the years ahead, the ACLU will pursue administrative and legislative campaigns targeting the Biden-Harris administration and Congress. We will leverage legal advocacy to dismantle systemic barriers, and will work with our affiliates to change policies nearer to the communities most harmed by these legacies.

The goal is to build a nation where every person can achieve their highest potential, unhampered by structural and institutional racism. To begin, inwe believe the Biden administration and Congress should take the following crucial steps to advance systemic equality:. The administration must issue an executive order creating a Justice Department lead staff position on voting rights violations in every U. Attorney office. We are seeing a flood of unlawful restrictions on voting across the country, and at every level of state and local government.

This nationwide problem requires nationwide investigatory and enforcement resources. Even if it requires new training and approval protocols, a new voting rights enforcement program with the participation of all 93 U. Attorney offices is the best way to help ensure nationwide enforcement of voting rights laws.

These assistant U. We are also calling on Congress to pass the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act to finally create a fair and equal national voting system, the cause for which John Lewis devoted his life. In the years following graduation, the debt gap more than triples. Nearly half of Black borrowers will default within 12 years. In other words, for Black Americans, the American dream costs more. Elizabeth Warren, along with House Reps. We couldn't agree more. Black women in particular will benefit from this executive action, as they are proportionately the most indebted group of all Americans.

In both low and high income majority-Black communities, traditional bank branches are 50 percent more likely to close than in white communities. Over their lifetime, those fees can add up to as much as two years of annual income for the average Black family. The U. Postal Service can and should meet this crisis by providing competitive, low-cost financial services to help advance economic equality.

We call on President Biden to appoint new members to the Postal Board of Governors so that the Post Office can do the work of providing essential services to every American. Across the country, millions of people are living in communities of concentrated poverty, including 26 percent of all Black children. The Biden administration should again implement the Affirmatively Furthering Fair Housing rule, which required localities that receive federal funds for housing to investigate and address barriers to fair housing and patterns or practices that promote bias.

Inthe average Black person lived in a neighborhood that was 62 percent Black and 31 percent white. Bythe average Black person's neighborhood was 48 percent Black and 34 percent white.

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Reinstating the Obama-era Fair Housing Rule will combat this ongoing segregation and set us on a path to true integration. Congress should also pass the American Housing and Economic Mobility Actor a similar measure, to finally redress the legacy of redlining and break down the walls of segregation once and for all. To realize broadband's potential to benefit our democracy and connect us to one another, all people in the United States must have equal access and broadband must be made affordable for the most vulnerable.

The Biden administration, Federal Communications Commission, and Congress must develop and implement plans to increase funding for broadband to expand universal access. The United States faces a crisis of child poverty. Seventeen percent of all American children are impoverished — a rate higher than not just peer nations like Canada and the U.

Currently, more than 50 percent of Black and Latinx children in the U. To combat this crisis, President Biden and Congress should enhance the child tax credit and make it fully refundable. If we enhance the child tax credit, we can cut child poverty by 40 percent and instantly lift over 50 percent of Black children out of poverty.

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We cannot repair harms that we have not fully diagnosed. We must commit to a thorough examination of the impact of the legacy of chattel slavery on racial inequality today. InCongress must pass H. For the past century, the ACLU has fought for racial justice in legislatures and in courts, including through several landmark Supreme Court cases.

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While the court has not always ruled in favor of racial justice, incremental wins throughout history have helped to chip away at different forms of racism such as school segregation Brown v. Boardracial bias in the criminal legal system Powell v. Alabama, i. While these landmark victories initiated necessary reforms, they were only a starting point.

In the weeks ahead, we will both expand on our views of why these campaigns are crucial to systemic equality and al the path this country must take. We will also dive into our work to build organizing, advocacy, and legal power in the South — a region with a unique history of racial oppression and violence alongside a rich history of antiracist organizing and advocacy.

We are committed to four principles throughout this campaign: reconciliation, access, prosperity, and empowerment. We hope that our actions can meet our ambition to, as Dr. King said, lead this nation to live out the true meaning of its creed. As a Black woman slaying in business, you're more than likely focused on the bottom line: Serving your customers and making sure the bag doesn't stop coming in.

Well, there's obviously more to running a business than just making boss moves, but as the CEO or founder, you might not have the time, energy, or resources to fill in the blanks. Well, here's where Staples comes in. Sis, this is not just the spot to drop in and grab a few replacement cartridges for your printer or a pack of paper when you're in a jam. With August being National Black Business Month, you'll definitely want to check out the slew of resources and perks Staples offers. Staples' professionals can literally serve as the team behind your team.

Their tailor-made services and Guarding your heart in dating of products offered in-store will help you adapt to any issues life might throw at you, and they literally have everything you need to bring your small business dreams to life! Here are 5 must-haves that Staples provides for your business that you just won't be able to live without.

These small business solutions ensure you'll remain a leader and can always be where the money resides:. Business owners are as strong as their tribes, and Staples can help you connect with the people where you work and live via their Community Business Directory. It provides access to Staples' extensive customer base and the potential to be featured in store and via community s which, by the way, reach an average of 15, readers.

Listings in the directory are also linked from Staples Connectso you'll get the exposure you need as a small business owner.

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You can register your business for free at StaplesConnect. For information on enrolling, contact your local chamber leadership. The Staples' Resource Center offers content on how-tos including marketing strategy, taxes, and finances, entrepreneurship advice, and more. It's a hub that benefits entrepreneurs by giving them the insider knowledge for continuing to work at their best and the tools needed to do so.

Find out everything from how to optimize your online shop to make the experience better for customers to stay on the site and buy more to profiles on successful businesses to inspire your own glow up. Visit StaplesConnect. You can't beat deals on everyday staples, like shipping boxes, premium shipping supplies key word: premiumand pack, 3-ply face masks. And the deals on top tech, especially for those constant video calls, online correspondences, and web meetings, are indeed not-to-miss, with hot items like the iPostal digital mailbox services, the Logi H wireless heet, and the Logi C Pro webcam.

Guarding your heart in dating

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How Should I 'Guard My Heart' When it Comes to Dating?